What is my time worth?
“I have been wondering how to begin explaining myself, wondering how I am going to fulfill my life and where to begin. What I should say, why it’s important, and why it’s been so long since I wrote an honest and sincere letter to myself, thanking myself for overcoming the struggles, and the challenges that have molded my personality into a stronger individual… And by no means have I “arrived” or “Found Peace.” Instead, I have crafted a 5 step formula into creating the person you wish to become… Step 1, Admit you were wrong, step 2, empathy, realize you are not the only person to feel this way, step 3, acknowledge it, and face it, solving the problem. step 4, take action towards this behavior and focus on sincerely meaning this for yourself, understanding that it’s not going to be perfect… but it’s important, to begin with, the right foot forward. and step 5 is live it out everyday day for yourself, you are doing this for you, and nobody else is responsible for your success. I’ve been wondering this for some time now… that and I believe it’s a good place to start the conversation and express how I feel about myself and my journey… and how I truly feel. It’s a good starting point, memories of long ago, thoughts of wondering and perplexity, thoughts of this and that… Time continues to pass, and each moment passes just as fast as the next moment, we capture these moments in our memories through experiences and music takes us back to a time of our lives where we are more whole and complete, and somehow life has a way of changing us to become better or break everything we know… Well, I can certainly convey for myself, I truly do care, so much so… There is a certain level of vulnerability that a person is comfortable … and then there is a level where you learn something about yourself and why you are doing what you are doing, for myself I am doing this for myself and to deliver value in some way. To feel, to love, and to express ourselves we must be vulnerable to our deepest desires and who we are… Requiring a level of awareness to express ourselves, and ask,’ why am I here?'”
When I was learning more about myself and understanding my awareness of self…. it was difficult to see who I was and who I had become, and who I allowed myself to become from neglect and lack of expression. A big role, and a father figure, my dad played a huge role in the problems I allowed into my life. Understanding that all the hate I had towards him only hurt myself, and I realized my whole life was about hating something I had no control over… I was allowing something to take over my life like I was a 5 year old… and maybe this was true when I was 5 years old… and there was nothing I could do at the time… but I am not longer 5 years old, or experiencing those times anymore… So I had to let that go, and when I did. I felt like everything changed for me and my life as a whole. The quality of my life didn’t change, but the way I looked at it, and valued it.. did, and that’s what changed, I no longer saw what I was when I was a young child, but now I saw things a little better and from a different perspective.
MY goals for my life 5 years ago...
- Personal Development (I think I meant to improve myself.)
- Be able to visualize what I want, and focus on it.
- Clarity of mind (I allowed everyone else in my head, but I didn’t stand up for myself.)
- A direction in life (I thought about joining the military, college, or finding something I could focus on for my life.. I felt lost)
- Understand people clearly… Understand myself clearly (Because I knew if I wanted to understand other people, I had to understand myself first…)
- Satisfaction with myself , help to understand myself better and who I am as a person, what I like and desire for my life. (I wasn’t happy with my life, or myself at the time and wanted to change that…)
- I am cosistantly developing my personal life
- I am easily and effortlessly learning all course material (Because all the course material helped me feel like I was learning something, soing something productive with my time.)
- I (never finished this one… I just wrote “I” … I think I meant to finish that….)
I can honestly say all these became true and so much more! I am happy with my personal development, and where my journey has begun… where I am now… and where I will be in the future.